Like any other millennial woman in her 20s, I religiously scroll through my Instagram before I call it a night- let's just call it my form of a night-cap. But while innocently scrolling through Instagram that night, I definitely didn't anticipate to bump into Mr. Right's engagement picture, which wasn't posted by him although- just to be fair. But obviously that led me to stalk a little more- and long story short- I realised he was getting engaged, but that wasn't the end of it. He was, in fact, also having some sort of 'whirlwind romance' to put it politely- with another woman that he had met on a vacation way back when we had just started out.
All of this was very surprising to me, yet an inner voice said- "I told you so" and I started to think back in time when I probably should've read the signs that I missed. I barely got through the night, and of course, there wasn't any sleep that I got- my night cap had failed me, and miserably at that. When the birds stated chirruping and the sun showed up, I decided it was time to ask Mr. Right and clear things for once and for all- and I'm glad I took that decision.
When I asked him if he was getting married, without actually talking about the picture- he responded with a 'maybe'. And we all know what 'maybe' means in such scenarios. 'Maybe' means yes, but I'd also like to keep you. 'Maybe' means yes but I won't admit it. 'Maybe' means yes, but oh my god, how did you find out.
All that aside, he asked me about why I asked that question out of the blue and I blamed it on him being distant, which by the way, was another sign that I missed, or rather chose to ignore. The conversation went on for over an hour with him changing his statements and getting caught in his own web of lies. I started to wonder if he has always been this guy who lies, manipulates, is secretive and overly private. I also started to wonder about who the other woman is, or rather, who the 'other women' are.
But as the plot thickened and things got unravelled, I found out that all this while, he's always been with someone- for the past many years and he was probably with her when he started things off with me, and that's the woman in the picture! Having said that, he still has a thing going on with another woman that he met on one of his vacations. And the icing on the cake was, when he claimed he had no idea about me being so involved, or having any expectations. Obviously, I gave him a piece of my mind- but that didn't help- because that day it wasn't just my heart that broke, it was my hope too.
In spite of all of this, I wished him luck, and suggested him to at least now, break things off with other women he's involved with aside of the one he's getting engaged to- but obviously I couldn't be expecting him to do the right thing.
Whilst all this went down, I couldn't stop crying. I also couldn't get myself to come to terms with what just happened. Even though I don't honestly have any spite for him, it just pains me to know how someone could be capable of hurting hearts like that and still not even be one percent guilty. How do people like this look in the mirror everyday? How do people like this face themselves? How do such people think that they can get by in life without even being apologetic about the damage they do? And if this is how people are, and this is how they get by, then I sure deserve an award for being the best human being possible.
All of that aside, this entire incident and the months that led up to it, in which I sure ignored the signs, blinded by love- taught me that you don't constantly have to chase a man that wants you- and he won't ever give you mixed signals or keep you up at night feeling anxious or second guessing yourself or your relationship. If someone is sure about you, you will feel secure in the relationship, no matter how far apart you are physically.
Another major lesson? Having great online stalking skills does pay off. Imagine if I hadn't found all this out, and confronted him- i would still be trapped in a nameless, directionless, loveless relationship of sorts and would still continue to pass on all the other wonderful men out there- one of whom actually might be 'the one'! So I like to think of all of this as a blessing!
And from now on, I'm surely not looking for Mr. Right anymore. Mr. Right is probably a myth and that's an idea that probably got rooted in my mind after watching one too many movies. From now on, it's all about Mr. Treats me Right! And while I say that, I think I need a break from men altogether for a bit. Another vacation on the cards maybe?
All of this was very surprising to me, yet an inner voice said- "I told you so" and I started to think back in time when I probably should've read the signs that I missed. I barely got through the night, and of course, there wasn't any sleep that I got- my night cap had failed me, and miserably at that. When the birds stated chirruping and the sun showed up, I decided it was time to ask Mr. Right and clear things for once and for all- and I'm glad I took that decision.
When I asked him if he was getting married, without actually talking about the picture- he responded with a 'maybe'. And we all know what 'maybe' means in such scenarios. 'Maybe' means yes, but I'd also like to keep you. 'Maybe' means yes but I won't admit it. 'Maybe' means yes, but oh my god, how did you find out.
All that aside, he asked me about why I asked that question out of the blue and I blamed it on him being distant, which by the way, was another sign that I missed, or rather chose to ignore. The conversation went on for over an hour with him changing his statements and getting caught in his own web of lies. I started to wonder if he has always been this guy who lies, manipulates, is secretive and overly private. I also started to wonder about who the other woman is, or rather, who the 'other women' are.
But as the plot thickened and things got unravelled, I found out that all this while, he's always been with someone- for the past many years and he was probably with her when he started things off with me, and that's the woman in the picture! Having said that, he still has a thing going on with another woman that he met on one of his vacations. And the icing on the cake was, when he claimed he had no idea about me being so involved, or having any expectations. Obviously, I gave him a piece of my mind- but that didn't help- because that day it wasn't just my heart that broke, it was my hope too.
In spite of all of this, I wished him luck, and suggested him to at least now, break things off with other women he's involved with aside of the one he's getting engaged to- but obviously I couldn't be expecting him to do the right thing.
Whilst all this went down, I couldn't stop crying. I also couldn't get myself to come to terms with what just happened. Even though I don't honestly have any spite for him, it just pains me to know how someone could be capable of hurting hearts like that and still not even be one percent guilty. How do people like this look in the mirror everyday? How do people like this face themselves? How do such people think that they can get by in life without even being apologetic about the damage they do? And if this is how people are, and this is how they get by, then I sure deserve an award for being the best human being possible.
All of that aside, this entire incident and the months that led up to it, in which I sure ignored the signs, blinded by love- taught me that you don't constantly have to chase a man that wants you- and he won't ever give you mixed signals or keep you up at night feeling anxious or second guessing yourself or your relationship. If someone is sure about you, you will feel secure in the relationship, no matter how far apart you are physically.
Another major lesson? Having great online stalking skills does pay off. Imagine if I hadn't found all this out, and confronted him- i would still be trapped in a nameless, directionless, loveless relationship of sorts and would still continue to pass on all the other wonderful men out there- one of whom actually might be 'the one'! So I like to think of all of this as a blessing!
And from now on, I'm surely not looking for Mr. Right anymore. Mr. Right is probably a myth and that's an idea that probably got rooted in my mind after watching one too many movies. From now on, it's all about Mr. Treats me Right! And while I say that, I think I need a break from men altogether for a bit. Another vacation on the cards maybe?
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