Wednesday, 17 May 2017

Dating Diaries

There’s nothing more mundane these days than sitting at family dinners and being asked about marriage plans. By now my answer is pretty much rehearsed- “We’re looking, let’s see when the right one comes along”; or I tend to stick with “Soon” if I’m not feeling particularly chatty. Sitting at one such family gathering recently, trying to escape all the marriage chit-chat, I decided to text this guy who I had recently started seeing, in order to escape my boredom.

As a rule of thumb, I do not date per se. It’s been a solid policy for several years now. It’s not just because I feel the men out there are not worth my time or attention, but also because with arranged marriage on the cards, there’s little room for the entire dating process. Also, I’ve never liked someone enough to date them. But with this guy, Rohit, everything seemed so perfect, that I thought I’d give it a go. I know sometimes, more often than not in fact, men like Rohit, are too good to be true. And that has been my personal experience as well. But the heart, was stupidly curious, and so I thought, let’s bend the rules a bit.

Rohit was a moderately decent looking lawyer who was not only well travelled but also well read. And boy, could he sing! And play the guitar! And shake a leg! And basically talk about anything under the sun. He was nothing short of perfect; until he was. As days passed, and I got to know Rohit a bit better, I realised why my anti-dating policy had really been intact all these years.
While seemingly perfect, there was a simple fact that was an absolute deal breaker in Rohit’s case. He was boring. Yes, at the risk of sounding extremely shallow, I couldn’t tell him that, but that’s what he was- Boring. 

Endless talks about the court room drama, and to add to that the talks about the extremely humdrum lives of the people involved in the cases- our discussions were usually a snooze fest. I was surprised at the regularity at which I had to listen to reviews of books and movies that I hadn’t even read or watched, nor did I ever intend to. I was also surprised at my own self for not being able to tell him how boring he was; and the level of patience that had suddenly decided to show up in me, was exemplary.

Long story short, I didn’t want to call someone boring and seem shallow while I break their heart for perhaps the vainest reason. So I decided to draw a little inspiration from “How to lose a guy in 10 Days” and voila. With help from a friend, and the movie, I decided to throw some tantrums and get dumped instead of having to face the consequences of telling him how boring I found him. And within 10 days, I was Rohit-free.

I’m sure there are many of you out there, not knowing what the right things to say are, when trying to break up. And my advice to you would be to not say anything at all, as long as it’s harmless. Sometimes, the truth can break hearts and break people. Not everyone is equally strong to hear things that you dislike about them. Sometimes the easier option is to get dumped rather than dumping someone for seemingly shallow reasons.

We all don’t know what our faults are. Maybe Rohit found me boring too, but refrained from saying the same just like I did. Who knows? The ultimate point is, that just like we all have our unique flaws, we also have unique tastes and quirks. My friend Sakshi doesn’t like men who are too tall. Raj, a colleague, recently stopped seeing a girl who he felt was extremely chatty. Mohit, another friend, didn’t click with a girl he was seeing because all she could talk about was fashion.

The truth is that in their own unique way, all of these people are perfect and they’ll find someone compatible to their perfect self. Till then, they may date tall, chatty or fashion savvy people, or they may not. But what they shouldn’t do is break hearts! So stay true to yourselves, but lie a little to others. And believe me, you can lose a guy in 10 days if you want, it does work, unlike in the movie! If you need help, get in touch ;)

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