Sunday, 16 April 2017

It's Complicated

Waking up late on a Monday morning and not having to show up at work has its own set of perks; for instance, you can enjoy your coffee sip by sip rather than gulping it down- and that, as all caffeine addicts know, is a divine feeling in itself.

After the usual shower, breakfast routine, I settled myself comfily on the couch with Cosmo in my hands and men on my mind.

Flipping through the pages, I stumbled upon one of my favourite sections- The Cosmo Quiz! In this particular issue, it was about finding out if the guy you’re dating is ‘the one’. “Interesting”- I thought to myself. With each question of the 5 question quiz, a different guy came to my mind.

1     The sweet ex, who I’m still friends with.
2     The touchy-feely green-eyed guy I recently went out on a couple of dates with.
3      That friend for whom my feelings come and go, like waves by the shore.
4      My Mr. Right, who disappears on me for weeks at a stretch.
5      And; the crazy yet charming tattoo artist I met at a party last week.

Trying to scout for some answers from my own self, I started to ponder- What if I had a choice to make? What if I was to choose one guy out of these 5? At least for the sake of the quiz! Let me tell you how supremely difficult a task that is. Because even though Guy 1 is sweet, he isn’t seductive like Guy 2. Guy 2, while seductive, isn’t someone I have a magical connection and a great rapport with, like I have with Guy 3. But Guy 3 is not someone I imagine myself spending a lifetime with. That I can only imagine with Guy 4; who is probably not as interested in me as Guy 5 is. Then again, Guy 5 is not really that sweet to me.


It’s a circle I think; one that I’m definitely trapped in. In all honesty, I don’t see either of these guys being “the one”. But then, with all these guys to occupy my mind, and my time- I haven’t even given the probable right guy the deserved chance. Whenever someone asks me out or I see someone potential out there; I somehow manage to come up with excuses like- “I’m not looking to date.” Or “I’m sorry, I don’t do this.” Or my perennial favourite “I just got out of a bad relationship, and I just need to focus on myself!” All these excuses could honestly be hash-tagged: #shitsinglepeoplesay

The truth is, I live in some sort of strange bubble where there’s a lot of hope. I think to myself on certain days that maybe Mr. Right would finally realize we’re meant to be and ask me out. On other days, I find myself going back to Kuch Kuch Hota Hai days, and think of how perfect a couple would me and the BFF make, if I could sustain my feelings for him and of course vice versa. And then; the charm of the tattoo artist allures me, but then I realise that things can only be steamy with the green eyed guy! I honestly never give a thought to getting back with my seemingly sweet ex, because that chapter’s closed; but the point remains the same.

And the point is- I’m not dating anyone, I’m not in love with someone, and I’m not even pining over someone; but my relationship status is still- “It’s complicated”. Strange, isn’t it? But relatable too, right?

When the world all across talks about Polyamory; us girls here are still trying to move on from the self-inflicted “It’s complicated” status. I wonder why we tag ourselves to that. I wonder if it has to do with the deeply instilled fear of commitment in us millennials. I wonder if it’s just a part of our nature to keep options open, until we absolutely have to make a choice. And when do we make that choice, really? When we finally have to give in to society’s pressure and opt for arranged marriages and succumb to the shackles of domestication, then? Maybe. But maybe not.

Give it a thought. A meaningful monogamous relationship is waiting for you out there- you just have to get rid of the “It’s complicated” tag, just like I have to. Polyamory is for another day maybe. Right now- get out that sexy dress, go on that date with the guy that wants to take out, have a good time. Who knows you might find “the one” on your next date? And give those 5 guys who’ve been running on your mind- a break! Trust me they’ve gotten tired of running, and you should move on too. Be Single, not complicated. You’re a girl, not a math problem.

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