Often in life, we come across choices- choices we have to make; choices we don’t necessarily want to make; choices that can change lives; and choices that can change us! What we choose is what makes us who we are.
I couldn’t help but ponder over the choices I had made in the past- eating too much fries, dating someone stupid, walking out of the right relationship at the wrong time, and even buying that expensive Zara overcoat which I’m pretty certain will never see the light of the day. As I thought about my choices, I wondered why only the wrong ones came to my mind? Why was it that I couldn’t think about one right thing that I’ve done in my life? Was it because, all my choices have been wrong? Hell no!
It was because that’s how we’re programmed to be; when we look back at our not-so-glorious pasts, we don’t think of the wonderful decisions we’ve made or the positive things that have happened. All we think of is the miseries and heartbreaks and difficult times that we’ve dealt with. Isn’t that just a little unfair? Isn’t that being a little too hard- not just on our past but on our own self as well? We keep piling all these negative thoughts about what we’ve been through, and these are exactly what associate ‘the Past’ with terms like ‘baggage’ and ‘insecurities’. Honestly, past is not the villain we make it to be!
As I gorged on my generous serving of fries at my favorite café (still making this choice), I thought about my past- positively this time! What was the best choice I made? I didn’t have to think long and hard- the answer was clear and certain. The best choice I ever made was dating Dhruv- the same stupid guy I mentioned above. How was it the best choice if I thought he was stupid? It was the best choice because it was through him that I met my now best friend Kabir.
Looking back at the past 10 years of my life, I realised how Kabir had been a part of all the happy moments, and the really sucky ones too! I realised he had been there, as a part of my life, for a really, really long time- and we had dealt with so much together- relationship troubles, work issues, drunken times, family problems, money issues, and even ‘us’ troubles! We had fought and made up endless times! He had been the only constant in my life for the past so many years; and I couldn’t even imagine how my life would have been without him being a part of it- who would’ve rescued me from a drunk men situation? Who would’ve teased me for my love and obsession of red? Who would’ve cheered me up after bad days at work? Who would’ve given me so much importance in their life even when I was a total bitch to them? No one would have done that; had it not been for Kabir.
As someone else’s ordered Cappuccino ended up on my table, I couldn’t help but think about the endless times me and Kabir have had coffee together- and discussed life, work, friends, broken phones and broken hearts! Kabir always loves a good Cappuccino, and I’m not a coffee person. I immediately started thinking of how we’re so different as people- he’s this nice guy, and well I’m basically just rude; he’s down to earth, and my head is always up in the air; he makes friends easily, and I hate new people; and he has an extremely positive outlook towards life, and I’m the most cynical person on the face of this earth! I started to wonder why were we friends? How did it all start? And more importantly, how did this happen? Was it Dhruv’s exit from both of our lives that brought us closer? And if it was that, why did we stick around for such a long time?
Things just started to become clearer, as I sipped on my Iced Tea (my kinda drink!). Maybe it was indeed Dhruv’s absence that brought as closer, but what made us be a part of each others’ lives for so long, was the CHOICE that we made. We chose to make up after every fight! We chose to stay friends! We chose to not let anything come in the way of our friendship! And lastly, we chose to keep going for all these years! ‘What if I had never made this choice?’- I thought to myself. I would’ve lost a CHANCE at all those wonderful moments I’ve shared with Kabir, all through the years.
And isn’t that what choices are all about? Chances! Making a choice today, gives you a chance at happiness. Like choosing to be friends with Kabir, was my chance at happiness! How lonely and insignificant my life would’ve been, had it not been for him? I can’t even imagine!
So whatever choices you have to make today, make them – don’t wait, don’t dwell and most importantly don’t hesitate. Think of it as your chance to be happy. I know what choices I’m gonna make today- buying that dress at Mango, being patient with my mysterious guy, begging Kabir to talk to me (yeah! I messed up again), and finishing up those fries for one last time! What choices are you making?